First Quarter Report

My 25th birthday is around the corner, and it’s been brought to my attention (by one of my oldest and dearest friends), that I’ve lived a lot of life in this first quarter century, and that I should share some of the fun things I’ve learned along the way.  Mind you, I’ll be saving all the BEST stuff and grimy details for an upcoming book… But here are a few of my thoughts!

Top 10 Things I’ve Done and Recommend You Do Before 25 (in no particular order):

1. Get in your car and drive at least 1200 miles in any direction with nothing but 1 good friend, some good music, and the intention of having a damn good time whereever you end up.
2. Get in the back of a pickup truck with at least 5 other good looking people after a night at a worthwhile Miami club, pile in with food, and go sit at the beach till the sun comes up listening to Tim McGraw and gangsta rap even though you’re not a hick or in a gang.
3. Go to a random Latin American country, get some insane water-borne disease with the boyfriend you should be sharing a “romantic” getaway with, stay sick and vomiting for a full week, and return 10 lbs lighter.
4. Make out with at least 1 celebrity.  For each single year.
5. Drink champagne while cruising on a mega yacht in the Med.
6. Eat nothing but pretzels and hummus for two weeks straight while living in the Holy Land.
7. Get your name in a major national newspaper.  (side note: only counts if it’s positive news)
8. Dance at some wild club outside of your nation of origin till at least 6 am, until you’re kicked out, or all your friends have passed out from utter exhaustion (even though you can keep going).
9. Ride a camel.  Dispose of your outfit.  The smell will NEVER come out.
10. Fall in love. And out of love. Repeat if necessary.

Some things I’d stay away from, generally speaking.

1. Connecticut (unless you’re running a hedge fund, and it’s still profitable).
2. Old balls                                                                         
3. Street food in Colombia
4. Wearing your best heels after wild nights on cobblestone streets
5. Penicillin
6. Repeat mistakes
7. Choosing AT&T for a wireless provider (why the eff do all my effing calls drop?!)
8. Seriously, stay AWAY from OLD BALLS.

…I’m sure there should be more on here, but, life’s been good to me.  I would take 1-8 VERY seriously though.