A Letter to My Son on His Birthday
My Dear, Sweet Son,
Today is your birthday. We’ve only had a few years together, but each moment has been an eternity in the most precious place I’ve ever been: motherhood. I only have vague memories of life before you… but they seem fuzzy and distant even though they were not so long ago. I was not your mother then. I was a totally different character in a totally different world, and had no idea I’d ever be capable of loving someone (anyone) so intensely or with so much certainty.
I remember when I realized I was pregnant with you. I wasn’t scared- I was excited because I knew your soul would be a great one. When you were smaller than a pea I’d sit at my desk, gripping my then unstretched stomach, imagining myself sending you all the love and beautiful energy I could muster up… I just wanted to encapsulate you with everything safe, beautiful, and sweet. And you know what? I think it worked. You came out simply magical, and you’ve been the blessing that started my cascade of blessings. Before you, I had no idea what it was to love fully or unconditionally. You showed me that I had the strength to weather every storm just to see your next giggle, to get through the longest work days just to feel your touch, and to go days on end with no sleep just to know your belly was full.
You’re four now, and the days of gripping you against my chest when you were colicky seem so far away (but just a moment ago in my heart). I miss holding your hand as you tried eagerly to stand, and then more eagerly to walk. I miss all the times you hid Cheerios in your diaper because you thought it was funny, every single time you fell down at the playground and ran to me looking for a reassuring hug, the spills, and even the tantrums- they all taught me how perfect you are to love, to take care of, and how lucky I am to be your mother.
There’s no way in the world I could ever have been half the woman I am today without your lessons and love. So, for your birthday, aside from a few toys and a colorful cake, I promise to keep growing for you and with you. Forever.