Babies FAMILY

Should we have another baby? Here’s how to know.

another baby
Written by Bryce

Ready for another baby?

If you’re on the fence about whether or not to have another baby, don’t worry, it’s normal to question your readiness. That’s exactly what I did between babies number three and four, when I found I was pregnant in spite of Paragard IUD, and what my husband found himself asking when I was diagnosed with placenta accreta with baby number five on the way.

Be real about your health

Are you physically able to carry and care for another baby? While this conversation is obviously meant to be had with your doctor, the challenges of pregnancy ranging from morning sickness to diabetes can take tolls on our bodies. If you’re generally in good health, that’s great. Consider your mental health as well, because even pre-parenting tasks transferring frozen embryos to conceive can start a cascade of stress.

Ask if there’s more love in your heart

If you’re in a good place emotionally and have more love in your heart to give. There’s a good chance if there’s love to spare, it’s a good time to have another baby. Parental love is an altruistic expression, though. Go into this knowing you’re there to shower the new human with love and expect almost nothing in return. Check out this YouTube video on my experience with that.

Are you financially stable?

It’s impossible to determine where you’ll be financially in 10 years, but if you’re gainfully employed and can put food on the table and a safe roof over your head — congrats! Choosing to try to conceive another baby if your finances are currently in a tender spot is difficult. I’m not suggesting that having a baby you didn’t plan isn’t right — it simply means attempting to conceive a child when you’re not financially stable, or something close to, could be risky in a variety of ways.

Are you in a good place with the child or children you already have?

If you’re not currently overwhelmed with the one, two, three, or more kids you’ve already made, and you love the idea of them having a new sibling to call their own — you may be ready for another baby. If you find yourself utterly overwhelmed by the amount of work, tasks, time, and energy your current brood requires, this conversation can potentially be put on the back burner until then.

How do you feel about your partner?

Having another baby doesn’t solve your marital crises, emotional issues, or self-worth dramas. It’s the opposite of a solution to deeper relationship issues. If you feel like you’re in a rocky emotional place already, don’t use having a baby as a band-aid. If you’re in a good place with your chosen partner, or feel very comfortable with the idea of doing this alone with a support network, it may be time to try.

Why do you want another baby?

If your answer to this very-real, very-emotional question is based on giving love rather than receiving, that’s great. If you’re focused on feeling more loved or fixing emotional cracks, think again. The idea that it’s “just time” isn’t spackle on an emotional pothole. If this is the case, it sounds like you’ll want to do more soul-searching with your partner.

If you decided it’s time, check out our list of the most popular baby names for 2019.

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About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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