Because iPhone users needed another vehicle for self-congratulatory circle jerking based on the fact that they are iPhone users, iSnapMe has developed stunning suction cup technology that allows you to take pictures of yourself.
THAT IS SO COOL. CHECK IT OUT YOU GUYS, NORMALLY WHEN I TAKE PICS OF MYSELF, YOU CAN SEE THE MIRROR IN THE SHOT, BUT BY ATTACHING THIS SMALLER MIRROR TO THE BACK OF MY PHONE, I CAN STILL TAKE A PICTURE OF MYSELF WITH NO MIRROR IN THE SHOT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW I’M TAKING PICS OF MYSELF! AWESOME, RIGHT?
Wow, that is awesome. After that, you can upload that pic to your blog, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Tumblr, and Flickr, huh? That is majorly cool. Or you could possibly even ask another human being to take a photograph of you, that’d really be out of this world! I hear having other people take pictures of you is totally vintage now, which makes it cool. You should try that. When do you think you might be getting back to that e-mail I sent you three weeks ago?
I HAD A REALLY MAJOR MANCALA GAME GOING ON, SORRY MAN. PLUS, YOU KNOW I NEVER HAVE SERVICE.
Now, I’m in the camp that believes it’s simple enough to take a picture of yourself without attaching some Kodak Brownie-era appendage to your fucking phone, but that’s also why I don’t own an iPhone. Owning an iPhone and trying to use it for work? You might as well be writing a business proposal while you’re at the circus. Performing as a clown.
It’s really interesting to me that smartphones (and the iPhone in particular) encourage moronic behavior. Look, here’s an app that lets me pretend I’m tying my shoe! And an app that is actually just a picture of a plate of spaghetti! Here’s an app that remembers the name of your childhood Tamagotchi, brings it back to life, and allows you to nurture it until you get swept up in a game of iPhone Monopoly and forget all about it, at which point your Tamagotchi dies– AGAIN! I get it– there’s an app for “that.†Whatever “that†is, there’s an app for it. But maybe there FUCKING SHOULDN’T BE.
Anyway, for just $19.99, you too can own a suction cup mirror that sticks on to the back of your phone like that’s convenient. Use it to take pictures of yourself as you wait in line at the Apple Store for 16 hours without food or bathroom breaks just to be one of the first thousands of people to own the iPhone 4G, which has this groundbreaking self-picture software already built in to it. Eeks!
I long for simpler times.
