Zorro the shark lives at the Sea Life London Aquarium. He was introduced to his girlfriend, Mazawabee, on Valentine’s Day this year, but unfortunately has suffered recently from a less-than-desirable libido. Simply put, since Zorro moved from his tank at Sea Life Belgium, he’s been as un-horny as can be. That sucks, because from what the Sea Life people are reporting, he was a libidinous little devil back in Belgium. So either Mazawabee is an ugly skank, or Zorro needs a little pick me up.
Aquarium execs are now counting on Barry White to encourage Zorro to get humping. Why not? It’s worked for every human I know. If Barry doesn’t bring out the prowl in Zorro, the aquarium has already prepared a playlist including Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On, Wet Wet Wet’s Love Is All Around, and Diana Ross and Lionel Richie’s Endless Love. Other sexytime tunes may include Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual, Elvis Presley’s I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You and Righteous Brothers’ Unchained Melody complete the list.
“Zorro has something of a reputation as a ‘ladies’ shark” and as Mazawabee has been ‘single’ for a number of years now we really thought they would get together very quickly,” Paul Hale, the aquarium curator, said:
”But it’s been months since their first introduction and although there are certainly signs that Zorro has been making advances, we would really have expected some serious mating by now.
”Research suggests that fish can not only hear music but can appreciate different tunes and melodies so we have decided to see if some good old fashioned love songs will get them in the mood!”
If the music gets the pair going, I might suggest that the aquarium staff throw in a few bottles of Astroglide Natural.
:/ that mix tape they’re making the sharks makes me super UN-horny.