Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (changes edition)

I was proud of the waves I had made, but wondered how many boats I was supposed to rock. -Phil Donahue

1. Everything is Changing. In the past 90 days my whole life has been turned upside down, and I think it’s just so it can be plopped on a new, cleaner end. I moved my house, my office, ended an 8 month relationship, and even my pet lizard died. Aside from the lizard dying, I’m pretty excited about it all. Such enormous change at this level (and velocity) can only mean one thing: bigger, better, and brighter things are around the corner. And some new furniture.

2. Virgin Beds. I recognize what I’m about to say will sound totally crazy, but here goes. I like my beds to be virgins. Really. For whatever reason, I’ve always had the experience of sharing my bed with only one man. I’ve only had a few real relationships, but by the time I ended up sharing a bed I’ve either moved and had a new bed, or we’ve moved in together and gotten a new bed. This time, I happen to need a new bedroom set. The only piece of bedroom furniture I took from my old apartment was my bed, which was actually too small anyway. Now I’m back in fresh-start mode, and it’s proving to be difficult to find appropriately matchy furniture for my 3-seasons ago Crate & Barrel bed (it’s a distinct wood color), so I’m thinking this might just be a good excuse to find a whole new set altogether.

3. Adios, Myones. About a year ago I went on a few dates with a guy that lived far away. He was nice, but the relationship had no legs from the start because I had no intention of being anywhere other than New York in the near future and he had no intention of being anywhere other than Miami. One of the things that I liked about this guy was his attention to detail. He called and texted as frequently as any interested suitor should, but also didn’t forget the little things like flowers and thoughtful gifts. Like a family of lizards. I mentioned once that what I missed most about my childhood in South Florida was catching lizards on the side of my apartment building and by the beach. He took this pretty seriously and went ahead with a plan to furnish my NYC apartment with authentic Floridian lizards. Within a few days I had 3 small lizards at my door. I named them Phyllis, Danielle, and Myones. Danielle and Myones had a torrid love affair that ended in the untimely death of Phyllis. I think Danielle just wanted her younger, skinnier competition gone in a jiffy. Then, sometime around Christmas, Danielle made a run for it. She hopped out of the terrarium during a feeding and before I knew it she was all the way up my chimney. Myones was lonely after that. He was a good little dude- he’d spend his days baking under his heat lamp, scurrying around his wood chips, and munching on the crickets my son so generously provided. Sadly, he passed away yesterday. Maybe it was just his time to go, or maybe he died of a broken heart. It’s hard to say, but I know we’ll all miss that little guy (and by “we all” I mean my 2 year old and Ashley).

3. Have You Seen CJ? This morning Stephanie sat down at my desk and spent the better part of the 10AM hour watching semi-horrifying music videos featuring 11 year old CJ Fam. CJ has a great voice, but what her parents (or potentially creepy uncle) have done to her in this video makes me a little nervous. PS, I’m pretty sure her current wardrobe is the same one I had at 11 years old, and that makes me like her a little extra.