Oh, Burger King. What’s it gonna take to stop you? First, the ice-cream symbol BK used on their lids very closely resembled the Arabic inscription for ‘Allah’, the sacred being of the Islamic religion. Next, they offended Mexicans with their Texican burger ad, which depicted a tall, white cowboy representing Texas (obviously) and a little wrestler Mexican dude who like, jumped up into the air to help the Texan open a jar of something (pickles, maybe? Does one eat a Texican burger with pickles?). To this very day, I am personally offended by their Burger King mascot. The King looks like what I imagine would be the very last hallucination of a bad trip. His maddening image is enough to prompt anyone to jump off of an overpass into oncoming traffic.
 The fast-food giant is known for its undesirable branding, so it should be no surprise to anyone that their latest campaign is making headlines for its mysogynistic undertones. Here it is (brace yourselves and keep out of the reach of children):
Hm. Well. You might be wondering if you’ve seen this ad in Cosmo (because honestly, couldn’t the ad camouflage itself as one of the articles?) But no, you haven’t! Because the ad has only appeared in Singapore. Which apparently, is the only country more prude than America. Congrats, Singapore! Really though, did you think Burger King would sell that big ass meal for $6.25 in American dollars? That meal is probably like, $16.99 in America because we’re poor now and such. (JK. We’re poor, but we’re not Singapore-poor. Not yet.) Anyway.
So obviously, this ad is going to ruffle some feathers, what with that white love juice practically dripping off of the bun and this hungry blow up doll trying to gobble it down in one bite. Why wouldn’t she? Clearly, a Burger King sub is the perfect way to ‘fill your desire for something long, juicy, and flame-grilled’ (the ad’s copy, not my own). Esqueeze me? I was with you until the flame-grilled part… that just sounds like the worst kinda sadism. I have lost my desire for all things long and juicy, thanks to Burger King.
Let me play Devil’s Advocate here. I know that some people are really, really angered by this ad, so prefacing my forthcoming statement with the ol’ ‘devil’s advocate’ routine should combat any backlash I may receive. Maybe, just maybe, Burger King is tired of isolating a silent -but budding-Â demographic–Â people who love to give head.
Just hear me out– why should Burger King isolate what seems to be a growing subsection of consumers? What about that girl who sits alone in her room watching reruns of some shitty E! show like Taradise, waiting for that one commercial that speaks to her? Why should people who like to give head be some faceless statistic that marketers don’t get to take advantage of? If it were a guy in that ad, it wouldn’t be misogynistic anymore. Would it just be in bad taste? As Americans, who pump blood through the veins of the porn industry like we’re the fucking aorta, we can’t accept that blow job giving Betties like the one pictured in that ad exist and should be pandered to?
Advertising insiders are aghast that a major corporation like Burger King would even suggest an ad of this flammability, citing shock value as a tactic to be used by ‘the little guys looking to be noticed’. This is the same corporation that chose Pepsi over Coca-Cola. Are we really shocked that BK made an unsound business decision? Ring the alarm!
Let’s just collectively giggle at this ad the same way we would whenever Sarah Palin would talk about Putin rearin’ his head up in her Alaskan backyard. Can’t we ever be that kind of nation again? United, we stand guys. Just sayin’. If picturing your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend as the hungered sandwich gobbler doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what will. May God have mercy on your soul.
uh… Singapore is definitely not a poor country. Alcohol costs more and designer label whores are everywhere. Food is cheaper to obtain there b/c it is not gigantic portions. A large order of fries there is a medium here and a large drink is merely a regular size not monster sized.
Well, that explains why we’re all obese. (They’re not poor, but I was surprised that our dollar is worth more than at least one other country– which is only thanks to China). Thanks Alaine!
What is surprising is that BK, KFC, McD’s, Taco Bell, Long John Silvers – all taste better there than it does here! Could it be that they actually change the oil in the fryer more often and throw out anything that has been sitting out for too long.