So while I was surfing the internet working this morning, I came across a little piece of gossip about Lana Del Rey’s love life: she’s now supposedly dating Axl Rose. A few weeks ago I heard she was hooking up with Marilyn Manson.
Girl, what the fuck is going on with your love life? I mean, seriously – why are you dating old washed up has-beens? I know you’re trying to stir up some publicity, but let’s be real – you’re not Rose McGowan and this is not the 90s. Banging two dudes who your fan base has probably never even heard of isn’t winning you any street cred. If you want to cause a publicity frenzy for being that weird hipster chick, start dating Lindsay Lohan (it worked for completely talentless Samantha Ronson). You’d have to give up peen for Lilo’s poon, but that can’t be worse than sucking on Axl’s shriveled up dick. But if cock is something you can’t possibly live you life without (I hear ya!), I recommend you aim for Justin Bieber’s. How fucking ironic and totally not staged, right?
