HEALTH

Give Your Ex Some Swine Flu

Written by Bryce

swine-influenza-virus

Why not?  He’s probably a total douchebag anyway.  Ok, maybe the actual strain that’s set to circulate for Fall ’09 is a little too harsh for the guy that merely forgot your anniversary and was high when he met your mom, but giving him a plush version for under $10 is a cute way to say “go f*ck yourself and get out of my life.”  Thank you, GiantMicrobes.com for helping me to politely piss people off.

swineflu

Maybe your ex wasn’t all that bad, but if you recently got fired you might want to send a little note to your former boss outlining his/her chronic bad breath.

bad-breath

No dice?  Well, the holidays aren’t THAT far away… I think stuffing some stockings with Chlamydia would be fantastic.  Seriously, who doesn’t love a little V.D. around the holidays?

chlamydia

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a New York mom to five growing kids, wife to one great husband and professional shopping editor. You've seen her work in Reader's Digest, Taste of Home, Family Handyman, MSN, Today's Parent, Fashion Magazine, Chatelaine, NBC and so many other beloved brands.

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