HEALTH

Give Your Ex Some Swine Flu

Written by Bryce

swine-influenza-virus

Why not?  He’s probably a total douchebag anyway.  Ok, maybe the actual strain that’s set to circulate for Fall ’09 is a little too harsh for the guy that merely forgot your anniversary and was high when he met your mom, but giving him a plush version for under $10 is a cute way to say “go f*ck yourself and get out of my life.”  Thank you, GiantMicrobes.com for helping me to politely piss people off.

swineflu

Maybe your ex wasn’t all that bad, but if you recently got fired you might want to send a little note to your former boss outlining his/her chronic bad breath.

bad-breath

No dice?  Well, the holidays aren’t THAT far away… I think stuffing some stockings with Chlamydia would be fantastic.  Seriously, who doesn’t love a little V.D. around the holidays?

chlamydia

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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