As many of you know (or can probably tell), I am originally from Florida. Even though I have lived in New York for 6 years, I am not one of those people who ever wants to “become” a New Yorker.
Quick test: Which side of this image feels like home to you?
Many people move to New York and are so caught up in the crazy pace of it all that they don’t want to identify with any other place. To me, even though New York and Florida are drastically different, they are both totally bat-shit, and the amount of ridiculousness I have encountered in both places is enough to make the grandchildren I will never have cringe, and then take a desperate sip of cooking sherry from the fridge. I believe that where you are from is equally as important as where you are going. If you need help figuring out where that place is though, read on…
You grew up in New York if….
It makes you angry when people who weren’t born here refer to themselves as New Yorkers, since everyone gets to choose where they were born and everything.
You rep Park Slope, the Bronx, or even Westchester the same way Floridians rep the Florida Gators or Seminoles.
You have never experienced the nirvana-like joy of a Publix sub.
The closest you have been to a beach is that condom-littered ashtray Coney Island, or the Rockaways once, but you didn’t get in the water.
You didn’t get a drivers license until you were 20, even though you stole a car when you were 15.
When you finally left for college to go see the real world, you felt a sense of pride when you told people where you grew up, but always wondered immediately after, why you left.
You grew up in Florida if….
When you first moved to New York, someone tried to con you out of money on the street by bumping into you and dropping their glasses, which were already broken.
Someone in your family still has a mullet. That mullet is probably curly.
You skipped most of your college classes to lay by the pool and drink liquor out of a plastic bottle.
Someone in your family still has blond streaks in their hair. That someone has probably had at least one abortion.
You have gone an entire week wearing flip flops without even batting a fucking eyelash.
When someone refers to you as a Floridian, you secretly feel the need to apologize for it, or justify it by explaining which part of Florida you hailed from.
