10 Best Karen Walker Quotes Ever

karen walker quotes
Written by Gary

These one-liners by Karen Walker will go down in history as some of the best things ever said.

karen walker quotes

I know every gay guy says this, but Karen Walker is my fucking spirit animal. Karen Walker quotes =  the best thing about Will and Grace, hands down (then and now, thank you very much). If I had to choose anyone besides my mother to raise me, it would be Karen Walker. Karen Walker embodies everything that is right about sarcasm, alcoholism, and gold digging. In case you can’t tell, I went to the University of racist Latino jokes, and came out with a gold star and a martini in my hand.

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To celebrate Karen Walker’s legacy, here are 10 of the best things she ever said. May the indallible spirit of Karen Walker live forever in the minds of homos everywhere.

Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

Wow, ten years of game night. What a milestone. Maybe you should celebrate with a suicide pact.

Good Lord I can’t believe I’m at a public pool. Why doesn’t someone just directly pee on me?

Oh hey! Somebody got flowers. Or as I like to call them, poor people jewelry.

I want a man who can make a woman feel like a girl. And who can make that girl feel like a slut. And who can make that slut feel like a woman.

I’ve been like a mother to that girl. I’ve locked her in her room, told her she was fat, and once I even left her in a store!

Excuse me, lady, would you happen to have a breath mint? You do? Well, pop it in your mouth, woman. It’s not doing any good in your purse!

It’s not something you can just run away from like a hotel bill… or a crying baby.

I regret the day I ever laid boobs on that man!

He’s taking me to Cancun for a week. Maybe I’ll take some jeans and trade ‘em for a new maid.

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About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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