Kim Kardashian Wants You to Buy Her $98 Butt Pool Float

Written by Bryce

Move over, inflatable flamingo floats — Kim K. is selling a butt pool float now.

Oh, Kimmy. You’re selling a $98 butt pool float modeled after you’re own tushie and somehow this is supposed to be a positive moment in the timeline of humanity. Some might argue that this is a really special time to be alive, a time when women are free enough to create replicas of their own butts in pool float form, and sell them for shocking profits. Truly, what a time to be alive (it’s also a time to wear Kylie’s monochromatic makeup look that takes a whole day to achieve).

Kim’s butt is now for sale!

We need to ask ourselves though, which pool in America is in need of a butt pool float? Like, is it the one at the YMCA? Or is it your mom’s active adult community’s clubhouse pool? Or perhaps, better yet, your boss’ estate in the Hamptons requires such a beautiful display of floatery. We can make sense of whimsical flamingoes, pizza slice floats (honestly is this the most adorbs float ever, or what?), and other summery floats… but Kimmy, are we really at the point where we need to sell your tushie to every Tom, Dick, and Harry?

Just a couple of buns baking in the sun, NBD.

Did Kanye put you up to this? Is Kanye sitting back right now, texting friends like, “I got Kim to sell inflatable ass replicas. I don’t even need to ask for money anymore.” We need to know. We’re waiting for fun sprinklers in the shape of her other body parts to debut now.

Also, we need to know if you would ever buy one of these. BE REAL WITH US IN THE COMMENTS SECTION, PUHLEAZ.

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About the author


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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