Have you ever wondered what it would be like to get a blowjob from a Little Monster? If you feel like a quick trip to Miami, now you can find out.
In what some consider to be either a desperate ploy for a #1 hit, or a genius marketing scheme by a schizophrenic with a style aesthetic akin to dumpster diving on a Sunday morning, Lady Gaga has implemented a contest via Twitter that offers a chance to be her guest to the iTunes Festival in London. To win, all you have to do is tweet her a screenshot as proof that they bought her song Applause on iTunes. Then, she ramped it up a notch by slyly mentioning that her fans stand a better chance at winning if they buy several copies.
Since Lady Gaga’s fans are all broke from spending all their hard-earned Urban Outfitters door greeter money on glitter, hairpieces, and unconventional shoes made out of broken mirror shards, they have taken to the streets with dicks in their mouths.
Yes, Little Monsters everywhere have started giving out blowies like cookies at a blood drive in exchange for screenshot proof of purchase for Applause.
Call me crazy, but her Little Monsters have it a little backwards. If they are that broke, they should give one blowjob for $300, then use that $300 to buy 250+ copies themselves. I am not surprised that none of them thought of this, because frankly most of Gaga’s fans are probably G-ed out within an inch of their lives anyway, and charging more than $1.29 for a beej never occurred to them, even before this contest.
It’s good that they are so degraded and degrading and will all die from STDs. Awesome.