You officially have like 4 minutes till you light the first candle. Thank your lucky lox you have eight crazy nights to make Chanukkah a total success- so if you order things today, there’s a good chance you’ll be ready for the first night, or at least one of those fab ones in the middle. Here’s my list of get-it-fast Chanukkah goodness:
1. For the forgetful. Whether you forgot everything you learned in Mrs. Schwartz’s class or totally forgot to sign your own offspring up for Hebrew school, a reminder never hurt. It’s OK (sorta), because this t-shirt will nearly get anyone to bar mitzvah level Hebrew literacy. And at under $20 each, you can get a few backups in case of sudden latke-enhanced growth spurts. It should be noted: my kid really has this and wears it all the time. Available here.
2. Sufganyot like no other! Chanukkah doughnuts are the place to be. If you’re based in NYC, these wild Thanksgivukkah donuts are available for order now, or, if you’re anywhere else try making your own and wrapping them up in a special basket with tea for the one you love. This recipe from Chabad is particularly encouraging.
3. Crazy low on time left and a man to please? Try renting the entire library of available Natalie Portman movies on Netflix. If that Jewish swan doesn’t bring out the Chanukkah spirit, I don’t know what will. Suggestion: eat donuts whilst watching. Browse all of Natalie’s Netflix titles here.
4. Still into the overdone nail art trend? Well, you shouldn’t be, but there’s a good chance you are. In the event that you find yourself in need of gifting a Jewess stuck in 2012’s beauty scene, you can gift her some fab Jewish nail decals by Midrash Manicures. There’s are a real thing. I’m not even kidding. They claim to last for up to 10 days, so, that’s enough for your eight crazy nights. Available here.
5. Ugly holiday sweaters aren’t just for gentiles, now. Thank you, Etsy, for making the dream of the Jewish people a reality: horrendous Chanukkah sweaters. This one’s got all the right trimmings, too. Available here.
