Luxurious Detox Secret Weapons

Day 5 into a spontaneous “no booze, no cigarettes (yup Danielle, no mo’ skinny bitch sticks)” month of January, I am feeling fabulous thanks to these four secret weapons which I’ll happily share with you, hoping you’ll join me in this not so random quest for purity, mind clarity and productivity in 2010.

1) Functionalab PNP

I’ve been blogging for Functionalab and loving all the products for close to a year now – however, until now, I had never been able to commit to start the personalized nutrition program and be serious about it for longer than a few days. My nightbird lifestyle and irregular eating habits just didn’t allow the dedication, or maybe I am just a spoiled little brat for not making the most out of work perks. Anyhow, since I’m being sober for a whole month in January, I figured it’s now or never. So far, the vitamins do fill me up, but they’re not overwhelming to digest. I will keep you up to date with any noticeable changes in my skin, stress level and PMS symptoms, the three main issues my program is targeting.

2) Tea Tree Toothpicks

Just ordered five of these boxes from Amazon after my upstairs neighbor told me this was the best thing he found to get rid of the oral fixation when he quit smoking.

3) Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Nibs

Started January with a massive hangover like everyone else and jumped straight into detox without giving my poor little body a warning. Result? Fucked up blood sugar level and intense cravings. I spent all weekend in bed reading magazines and sucking on Starbursts, but soon realized it’s no use to take in all these vitamins if you’re playing with your insulin level by binging on sweets. A good alternative I found by Monday (thank god for my BFF Marie) is these dark chocolate nibs from Trader Joes, only one calorie each, and we all know by now dark chocolate is good for you.

4) Empire Labs Real Touch

Last but not least, assessing I’ll spend way less time at the bar with the boys and will probably get bored and need some physical distractions ASAP since my wifey’s all the way in the North East, Bryce and I agreed to take on PR for a super fun sex toys company from Portland, Empire Labs, famous for the popular “Clone-A-Willy” kit and coming up with a new all-natural energy drink for stronger erections… An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away? So far, so good, kids…