HEALTH

No Germs in My Ass Crack

Written by Vivianne

You’re fabulous, but… you sweat from the ass crack.

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Sux, but have no fear: you’re the perfect candidate for a super high tech, groundbreaking, anti-bacterial line of undies by Nitesweatz. Specifically designed to absorb sweat, it claims to keep your butt fresh!

‘No more swamp ass with a thong like this,’ Ash stated when she assigned me the story.

I mean, really?

For the sake of my blogger’s integrity, I HAD TO spend a fair hour researching online to see if this product was really responding to a real concern, or if it was just marketing bullshit.

Here are some quotes I found on a forum on ask.metafilter.com after I Googled the sexy phrase: How to reduce a sweaty butt.

“I have the perfect thing – corn starch. Keeps you cool and breezy. A friend of mine who is a line cook says that he and everyone at work who has to spend time with their back to the oven pat cornstarch onto the, uh, area and they all stay nice and dry that way. Baby powder does the same thing, but then you smell like baby.”

‘This might sound like a wisecrack but I’m serious: if you’re hairy back there perhaps your mate (assuming you have one who can be talked into it) can give you a summer trim. I hear it makes a difference.’

Haha, wisecrack!

‘You could alway see if Anti Monkey Butt Powder really works. Or maybe try some advice from The Poop Report?’

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Bon appetit! 🙂

About the author

Vivianne

Bryce's future stay-at-home wife, but for now a prolific lifestyle writer, artist rep and full-time hustler. Loves happy hour sushi, elephants, caffeine, hiking canyons, extra dirty martinis, nerds, chocolate chip cookies, artichokes (cause they have a heart), photography, designer dresses, collecting fragrances and taking care of business.

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