Pucker Up

Written by Steph

My dentist and I have a love-hate relationship with each other. He loves me because my mouth requires constant maintenance; thus prompting me to indirectly fund his kid’s college education. I hate him, because he scolds me for not flossing twice a day and smoking. He hates me for not heeding his advice, I love him because I masochistically enjoy the sound of power drills in my mouth after a couple shots of Novocaine.

As much as it thrills me to recline in Dr. Torma’s dental chair and numbly listen to the sounds of destruction taking place in my mouth, it’s an expensive habit to keep up. More expensive than, I don’t know, taking care of my grill in the first place? Here’s the three products that’ll earn me a thumbs up from Dr. Torma the next time I need an emergency Wisdom Tooth removal.

I usually use mouthwash sporadically throughout the day to recover from a coffee-fueled morning, but The Natural Dentist‘s Whitening Rinse requires that it be used before brushing– which cuts down my gargling time significantly while helping to erase the aging of my abused teeth. The rinse also supports oral health, prevents cavities, freshens breath, and kills germs– without the use of bleach, alcohol, and other chemicals commonly found in the average whitening mouthwash. The rinse instead contains natural ingredients like peppermint, sage oils, grapefruit seed extract, and aloe vera gel. I know what you’re thinking, natural equates overpriced. But The Natural Dentist recently rolled back their prices by 30% for all mouth rinses, which means you don’t have to compromise your smile or your budget.

Next: the oral-care craze taking the young, slutty world by storm. Colgate Wisp is a single-use mini toothbrush small enough to fit in a clutch or a pocket. They’re individually wrapped, super cheap, and convenient for pretty much any situation where stopping home isn’t an option. It doesn’t come pre-pasted (that would be kind of weird and disgusting), but contains a breath-freshening bead that bursts upon use and freshens your mouth without rinsing or water. Perfect for eating garlic at lunch, waking up in a strange apartment far from your own, scoring an impromptu make-out session, or close-talking at a noisy happy hour.

Clearly, none of this matters if you have busted lips. Your breath could smell like Mr. Mint spontaneously combusted in Candy Cane Forest and it would make no difference if your lips look like Mick Jagger’s after a heroin binge.

Enter La Prairie’s Cellular Lip Renewal Concentrate. I was pleased to find this scentless anti-aging treatment moisturized my lips without adding artificial color or unnatural shine (I prefer a soft, matte lip during the day). It exfoliated and buffed my lips to the point that it was unnecessary to apply any gloss or chapstick afterward (and we’re talking throughout the day, not just right after applying it). This lip regimen also adds a slight plump with Hyaluronic Acid Filling Spheres, and Niacin increases the blood flow to your lips; making it perfect for sporting a naked lip.

With this trifecta of perfect mouth-care products, you’ll be kissing with confidence in no time.

About the author


a born-and-bred Brooklyn brunette prone to excessive alliteration. Follow her on Twitter @omgstephlol. Read more here.


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