Rebecca Black, brought to you by Friday, has dropped out of high school. The uh… singer, 14, can’t deal with the social torture her classmates dish out. “When I walk by [other kids will] start singing ‘Friday’ in a really nasally voice… Or, you know, they’ll be like, ‘Oh hey, Rebecca, guess what day it is?'” says Black.
Despite earning the accolade of largest assault on pop music this side of the century, Black’s music video for the [auto]tune “Friday” went viral earlier this year, earning 167 million YouTube views to date. The newly-minted teen still keeps a stylist, a manager, a publicist, a makeup artist, and a body guard under her employ.
I won’t blame her because she’s a kid. But it should’ve occurred to someone that maybe whoring a kid out on YouTube was a bad idea, maybe, and this thought should’ve struck sometime before the girl was moved to drop out of school. She’s at the point of no return now – changing schools won’t solve the problem – I’d venture to guess it’d make things worse (Rebecca is no Ren McCormack – the ‘new kid appeal’ does not apply to her). But the mom (who condones Rebecca’s dropping out) is a dipshit. What did you think was going to happen when you funded your daughter’s ego trip by spending a fuckton of money on turning your untalented daughter into internet fodder? That the kids at school were gonna be like, “Wow, Rebecca! You’re the bees knees, what with your overproduced, lyrical nightmare of a single! BFFs?” Kids are little assholes.
I wonder if Rebecca Black has a college fund, and if so, I wonder if it’ll be used for its intended purpose, or if it’ll be used to further alienate her from a normal childhood. TIME WILL TELL.
