In the spirit of full disclosure, I have never actually lived with one of my boyfriends. This is because there are certain things that I like to do, that I wouldn’t want to share with someone else, such as skipping a shower, or masturbating to straight porn. I know enough about relationships to know, though, that there are certain dos and don’ts in regards to sharing a space. So here are a few ideas on co-habitation with your lover:
DO get a cool looking photo like the one pictured above to hang somewhere in the home. This establishes that it is a shared space, where two people who are totally in love, reside.
DON’T throw up a thousand photos of you and your girlfriends with the guys you hooked up with (and possibly got herpes from) in Cabo. On spring break. In the 90’s.
DO establish alone time, where even if you are both home you spend time in separate rooms and don’t bother each other. This will make it less likely that you murder each other.
DON’T take a dump with the door open. No matter how long you have been together. Even if your partner isn’t home. Even if your partner isn’t in the country.
DO let your partner make decisions in the decoration process, including colors, textures, and even furniture (if he has a slight gay streak).
DON’T let your partner turn your shared apartment into a man cave with sports team pennant flags and a beer pong table. I don’t care how much of a “cool girl” you are, if you are old enough to live with someone, you are old enough to have adult furniture and design, you stupid, stupid whore.
DO couple activities, like shopping for groceries, cooking dinner, and drinking wine.
DON’T nag him about doing chores around the house. Just with-hold sex. He will soon enough realize that if he wants sex he has to put in his fair share of household chores. Guys are like dogs- if you openly communicate with them and train them right, you can get them to do anything. That includes successfully co-habitating.
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