Have you ever noticed that the colder it gets, the harder it is to get out of bed? Part of me thinks that science got it wrong, and we are actually descended from hibernating bears instead of monkeys. The other part of me is just lazy as Hell and doesn’t want to move after I am all snugged up under the covers in a fortress of warmth. This very morning, I hit my snooze button a few times and went back to sleep, only to have mini-nightmares about the icy touch of the hardwood floor under my feet.
Here are my reasons to get out of bed in the morning:
Long story short, nobody likes to get out of bed in the morning in the winter, so here a few incentives to get you up and at em.
Unless you are a prostitute or a freelancer, you probably won’t be making much money from your bed. If you want to keep the apartment around you, eventually you will have to drag your exhausted ass to work.
Unless you are a prostitute or reside inside an iron lung, chances are you will not meet the love of your life while you are hiding under your blankets. On the off chance that humping your body pillow has gotten old, you might need to seek out your soul mate in the real world.
Lying in bed is a very poor form of exercise. Do you want to end up like one of those 500 lb shut-ins who have to be cut out of their own house and transported to the flea market on a flatbed truck just to buy a new pair of size XXXL floral leggings?
Unless you are Joan Crawford or Jessica Lange, chances are there is no liquor in your bed. Nice buzzes and random, sloppy hookups aren’t just going to come to you, my friend.
There is a whole world out there full of exciting new places to see, people to screw, food to eat, and adventures to be had. Your bed may be nice and comf, but aside from some awesome dreams about Channing Tatum, the only thing you are doing there is resting and recuperating from the world so you can get back out there and experience more. If nothing else, the mere idea that anything can happen on any given day should be enough to get you up.
But if that doesn’t work, consider this:
Our sheets contain dead skin cells, body oils, sweat, bodily fluids, and food crumbs. You are lying in all of that right now. If that isn’t enough to make you roll sideways onto the floor, then I don’t know what is.
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