These foods lower your libido, and who wants that?!
RED AND WHITE MEATS:
They inhibit blood circulation to your powerful V-day tool. They create an odoriferous scent in your underarm section and nether regions.
Want to serve protein?
Pine nuts, eggs, fatty fish and oysters may not be fresh breath welcome mats. However, they are perfectly portioned palate proteins (4 Penis Potent P’s) to increase blood circulation to your V and D for V-day.
Especially candy and chocolate! Sugar inhibits blood circulation and lowers sex drive. You get an energy surge, but it doesn’t give you the sexual urge. Milk chocolate makes you bloat and fart, as most dairy products do. It will toot the wrong horn. Licorice is also not cute to knock boots. While it may de-stress and therefore undress, it also causes decreased testosterone production.
Need candy to get randy?
Try an almond, coated and oven-baked in cinnamon. Homemade street nuts for your nuts. Almonds are nature’s sexual nuts. They contain zinc, vitamin E, and selenium. Zinc is great for your libido. Vitamin E is great for your heart and blood circulation. Selenium is great for fertility.
It may give you fresh breath, but it lowers the libido because of its body cooling effect. Try ginger! It’s a warming food, and actually warms your body and libido.
Tonic–as in the liquor-lubing mixer (ex: vodka tonic or gin and tonic). Booze, in general, is a libido no-no. But if you must lubricate to fornicate, avoid tonic water. It suppresses your hypothalamus, which controls control and libido for guys and pheromones for the ladies. Soda water is fine and has a soothing libido effect. Red wine is also a frisky fine wine.
COFFEE OR COFFEE FLAVORED ITEMS:
Coffee decreases cortisol, which provides you with some severe hormone imbalances (especially when the coffee caffeine kick leaves your body). Think indecision and irrational mood swings and twitches. Aka… take me now, wait, no let’s talk or take a romantic walk. BOOOOOO.
Try any herbal tea, hot or cold. Try to avoid sugary teas.
SOY IS NO JIZZ JOY:
The soybean may be a great meat substitute, but it is a potent male anti-aphrodisiac. It contains phytoestrogens, which compete with the male sex hormone. It can cause sexual dysfunction and fertility issues and in the long-term, male breast growth and facial and body hair loss.
Looking for a Superfood Substitute for Soy?
Try avocado or coconut oil. These super foods have vitamin E, vitamin B6 and potassium, which increase blood flow to your nether regions and promote fertility. Avoid salting your avocado. It makes you swell, bloat, and dehydrate. Side note: coconut oil can also be a superfood sex lube, ahem….
SALAD IS NO LOVE-MAKING BALLAD:
Green veggies (especially raw) cause the runs. Cruciferous veggies like broccoli and cauliflower, while healthy, are nature’s candy heart-shaped farts. Carrots cause massive Whopper Malt Ball sized poops. Beets make you poop Communist Red.
Instead, try sweet potatoes, squash or pumpkin–all in season. All are rich in potassium, which helps fight high blood pressure, which is associated with less risk of erectile dysfunction. They’re also rich in beta-carotene, providing the body with vitamin A, which is suspected of being helpful for those with infertility. Sprinkle cinnamon on them, which warms your loins and sparks your coin slot–or sprinkle vanilla-flavored protein powders on these orange and local Jersey Fresh Snooki veggies. Or sprinkle sesame seeds—Nature’s “sprouted” Viagra– on them. These seeds have zinc, which increases libido and sperm production. Rye/Caraway seeds decrease any belly bloat and are great on all of these items.
Avoid melons and pineapple–they make you toot your weight in fruit. Why? They are HEAVY water density fruit.
Best bet? Watermelon. This popular fruit is low in calories, low in water density, but high in potentially libido-boosting phytonutrients, lycopene, citrulline, and beta-carotene. These nutrients found in watermelon may help relax blood vessels and provide a natural enhancement for revving up your sex drive.
Strawberries also do the dick trick.
Strawberries are sex candy. Why? Good circulation is thought to be crucial for sexual functioning in both men and women, and strawberries are rich in antioxidants that benefit your heart. What’s more, they’re rich in vitamin C, which along with antioxidants, has been linked to higher sperm counts in men. Try dipping the berries in vegan/dairy-free dark chocolate, which contains methylxanthines that may activate the libido. Remember–avoid milk chocolate and dairy.