If you really want to get noticed on the beach this summer, you need a crazy bikini.
The #FreeTheNipple bikini not only makes a political statement, but also downsizes your dinner platter areolas.
For anyone who has been watching the news or perusing The Internet (even though they are kind of the same thing at this point), you know that this summer is going to be hot as balls. Scientifically speaking, the amount of swamp ass that will accrue in American ass-cracks this summer will contain enough volume to fill the Indian Ocean. That being said, if you haven’t bought a new bikini this summer, you need to get your shit together, Carol.
Don’t have a bikini-ready body? Don’t worry, there are plenty of other ways to make a statement and get some attention. These six crazy bikinis will both keep you cool, and draw attention away from your body, because they are so fucking strange.
I even threw a DIY bikini in there, for bitches on budgets. Now go hit the beach!
READ MORE: The Only Swimsuit You Will Need This Summer