Spotting Douchebags: Easier Than Ever

I know what you’re thinking… “Bryce, sure, you know how to spot a douche but you never seem to be able to stay away from them.”  While, that may be true, it is my most sincere with that all of you readers can be a better at avoiding general douchebaggery than me.  I’d like to thank a lovely little fanpage on Facebook for helping us out.

So I’d like to share with you my top 3 reasons for avoiding people that wear Ed Hardy.

1) They’re annoying. People that are head-to-toe bedazzled and have giant tigers plastered on their chests generally need tons of attention.  This category of women is also likely to be interested in VAJAZZLING, a whole catastrophe unto itself.

2) They Think Long Island is “Awesome, bro!” I can tell you for SURE that it’s not.  If you’re not from the New York area and don’t necessarily believe me, you can double check this here.

3) MEATHEAD SYNDROME.  It’s sort of like the chicken and egg thing… I don’t know which starts what, but there’s an uncanny correlation between beefed-up meatheads and Ed Hardy shirts.  Do beefy guys just gravitate towards the sparkly douchebag attire, or do the shirts inspire otherwise skinny guys to start guzzling Muscle Milk whilst “getting pumped” every day? I don’t know, it’s hard to say.