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Suffering from Erectile Dysfunction? Try Breastfeeding

Written by Gary

She is thinking: “He thinks my belly looks like cottage cheese.” He is thinking: “I just farted and lost my boner. I hope it doesn’t smell.”

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that yes, it does happen to everyone. Do you know how I know? Because I am a gay guy that has slept with his fair share. Maybe you have a lot on your mind, or you can’t get your partner’s misshapen nipples out of your head- but regardless a limp dick once in a while never hurt anyone. If it happens every time though, you may suffer from erectile dysfunction. And if that is the case, breastfeeding might be the answer you are looking for. Apparently?

At least it was for one couple- Jeff and Michelle, no doubtedly from Bumblefuck, USA. Before I delve into this story, I just want to say that I am okay with fetishes as long as nobody gets hurt (unless they want to be). This story came from, and it’s too good to not share:

Jeff suckles his wife’s teats to overcome his erectile dysfunction.

Jeff is quoted as saying: “The first time I latched on and the milk started to flow, I had to stop, otherwise I would finish off right there.”

Getting his wife pregnant is also a turn on for Jeff, and he has forbid her to use birth control. Both of their children were born premature, and she has been warned by doctors that other pregnancies could be complicated.

Jeff puts breastmilk into his coffee and cereal.

Jeff is really into vampires, and named his son Khayman, after a character in one of Anne Rice’s books. (that child doesn’t stand a fucking chance). Sometimes he bites Michelle’s areolas and drinks the blood.

Jeff’s wife Michelle is quoted as saying: “He’s definitely a boob guy.”

I’m sorry, but if the only thing that can get you off is impregnating your wife and drinking from her boobs, then you have a lot bigger problems than erectile dysfunction.

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About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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