We’ve all been there. You go out with your friends, throw a few (too many) back and spend the rest of the night in an intoxicated blur of dancing, laughing, yelling and stumbling in your stilettos. When you wake up, you remember having the time of your life. It’s not until you look at your iPhone 4 that you realize that in between playing pool, flirting with that one guy in the shirt and doing yet another Patrón shot with some bros that all went to that state school you can’t remember, you realize that you’ve been documenting the whole night on Facebook. Yep, now everyone, including your ex, your boss and your grandma saw those pictures of you flashing a bartender, licking your bestie’s face, and … omigod, is that your ex’s best friend grabbing your ass?
Look, no judgment over here, but this could have all been avoided had you downloaded the sobriety test app to your phone. The Webroot Sobriety Test will enable your phone to first take you through a series of games that will determine if you’re sober enough to post that picture of your cleavage (if you’re considering this you probably don’t need a sobriety test to determine that you drunk, bitch). Tests include moving your curser in a straight line, typing the alphabet backwards and general stuff like that. If you pass, congratulations! The app will also help you find your next bar destination. If you fail, you will not only save yourself the embarrassment of posting something dumb on a social media site, but the app will also give you the number of a near by taxi company so you can pour your drunk-ass into a cab and go home. Happy holidays from me to you!
