The Circus That Is ‘Idol’

Just like the seasons before it, the eighth season of American Idol is chalk full of controversy. Which is probably the only reason people are even talking about it anymore. The exploitative battle of the haves and have-nots hasn’t even made it to Hollywood Week, and already I have to question what the purpose of the show is: finding the next American Idol, or depicting the judges as a breakfast club of morons. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

 

1. Idol adds fourth judge who doubles as contestant: WTF, Kara? When there was buzz going around that there was a new judge in town, a woman judge, I figured Paula had finally booked that trip to Promises that was long past due. But nope! They just added another psycho chick to the panel (maybe in hopes that her influence plus Paula’s influence would negate any evidence that either of them exist on the show). Kara DioGuardi wrote some songs or something, but it became quite obvi that the embittered behind-the-scener really just wants the spotlight when she battled a swimsuit laden contestant quite shamelessly. There was a Vision of Love showdown, and while Kara sang it better, she is still the loser. For feeling threatened by a youngin with a hot bod who, to be honest, didn’t sound that terrible. American Idol will vote you through if you’re an average singer as long as you were in the military, just had a baby, or look like you can’t sing but then you sorta can, so why should this girl be left out in the cold? Don’t become all moral on us now, judges. Kara also loses for joining a show after it’s jumped the shark. You’re like Leanna Creel. Don’t know who that is? Exactly. Look it up.

 

2. Idol gives chance to someone that’s already had one… again: Last season, fans of Idol went all nutso because a girl named Carly Smithson made it onto the show but had already recorded a record. Even though no one has ever heard of Carly Smithson, the fans were still like, uuh NO, if she didn’t get famous the first time around that’s her own problem, give someone else a chance. And they did– Joanna Pacitti, this season’s Carly. She not only recorded with Geffen, she ALSO had a MTV True Life episode– and that’s when you know you’ve made it. What’s the deal? Isn’t American Idol supposed to be finding new talent? No more washed up nobodies! I can’t help but feel like I’m watching an episode of Rock of Love when shit hits the fan because one of the girls has already done an episode of Blind Date, toured with Cirque du Soleil, and starred in a porno. Your career’s done, baby. Give it up.

Fan Weeps for AI's Lost Innocence

3. Judges misinterpret southern hospitality, draft restraining order: Most recently, contestant who couldn’t make the cut Mark Mudd had an ominous message for the judges on his way out: “take care and be careful… in whatever you do”. Although it was a little less psycho murderer and a little more common southern salutation. Granted, Paula did have a stalker kill herself practically on her lawn, I can see how this would raise some red flags. They apologized though (and by they, I mean the producers), stating simply, we don’t know the lingo in every state we go to, our bad. Or something. Maybe Paula should switch from whatever is in that Coke cup of hers to Xanax.

Whew. Can’t wait for Hollywood Week!