It used to be that when someone reached for a camera to capture a precious moment, we’d all reluctantly smush our faces together, count to three, and just get the thing over with. The moment’s captured; the moment’s passed. Simpler days.
Now, when you see a camera come out (or a phone get turned in that one tell-tale angle), you know what you’re gonna be dealing with. Multiple flashes. Ten captures. Uploaded within seconds. Tweeted, Tumbl’d, and thumbs-upped. This stuff is way too serious for side-hugs and duck faces, dolls. And I’m not one to nix a retro reference, but no one should be Charlie’s Angel-ing as of about 2 millenia ago. It’s time to step up your posing game. And since we’re still in January, I won’t hold it against you if you write this in as an addendum to your bill of 2012 New Year’s Resolutions. Now that we know our photos have an online shelf-life of 4-ever, it’s all on us to ensure they’ll be appreciated until the end of civilization. Future generations are depending on it.
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I’m not a huge fan of cats, but even I can admit, they know how to work a camera. Chin tucked in, hands spread out as they place, and a stone-cold stare: Cats can kill it. If every photo you ever pose for again even mildly resembles this one, you’ll have succeeded in making the world (and the Internet) a better place. Just be careful not to take the feline bit too literally. Exhibit A: Snooki. Floor crawls are obviously encouraged. Exhibit B.
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In the future, everyone will be subtly confused. Even more confused than they are now. But they’ll look good doing it. Not any of that super obvious “Where’s Waldo” kiddie confusion, either. This look pulls some of its pizazz from the community of camera-ready cats, but rather than put all that nonchalance front and center, the don’t-care attitude is more like an accessory.
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Sure you could pose with your eyes open, or with your tummy sucked in, or for that matter, with some clothes on. But no one would have ever looked twice at these Anne Geddes babies if they’d gone with the grain.
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Go from regular Jane to Art-Nouveau J.Ane in just 180 degrees. Faces aren’t necessary in the future, only Facebook.
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Bam! You’ve just been photo-zombed. Obviously.
