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The Holiday Gift Every Mom-to-be Must Have

Written by Bryce

I remember thinking when I was pregnant “how on Earth is a human going to come out of THERE?” Luckily, my son didn’t have to, as he wasn’t delivered that way (hallelujah, vaginal preservation!)… but I still couldn’t help but wonder about the actual physics of childbirth.  I went to high school, I’ve seen my fair share of birds and bees movies, but nothing was quite 3-D enough for me.

NEWSFLASH: A brilliant woman on Etsy has forever changed all that.  Now you can crochet your own woman-in-labor doll!  Granted, you need to be a master crocheter, but for less than $15 you’ll get the pattern that’ll change your life.  And heck, crochet one of these dolls in any yarn color to make a race-appropriate gift for your favorite mom-to-be or slutty friend that needs reforming.  A little more good news? For $150 you can forget about crocheting and just buy the doll.

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About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, being fully rested and writing for some of the world's most popular news outlets.

12 Comments

  • For a childless by choice person such as myself this was just disturbing. I hope I don’t have nightmares. :-O

  • This is rotten.

    BJ, I’m guessing since a child was just pushed out of said furry vaginal opening, size probably = extra large.

  • LOL, ya’lls squeamish reaction would be hilarious if our bodies weren’t meant to do exact what the doll is portraying!

    As a midwife, doula and a women who has given birth vaginally unmedicated, you guys are seem quite ignorant of your own body’s naturally given talents.

    LOL, *vaginal preservation” and “extra large”, you ‘ladies’ speak as if women have been given shoddy equipment! Men’s penis’ regularly grow and shrink from tiny to gigantic (and plenty of range in between) but we don’t consider them in need of being preserved from being stretched out or speak of them as if they are shoddy in some way.

    Insane? Object d’horror? Ya’ll need to love your bodies and what they can do, they are meant to create life and push it out vaginally. I’m all for being pro-choice about C-sections and being childfree but you women make me ashamed to the same gender. Women hating on their own bodies and natural talents, this post is a giant feminism fail. Double face palm!

    Ps – The pattern has been bought by me and plenty of others I bet. Crocheting this should be easy and I will proudly display it in my office, it’s a beautiful display of what a women’s body is naturally meant to do.