Travel Spotting: The REAL Do’s & Don’ts of Paris

Do:

1. Do wear sneakers. I know this is a ridiculous thing to some people (including myself) I hate even wearing sneakers when I am walking to my Yoga class. I thought that I would play it safe by wearing Converse, little Vintage boots, and Dr. Martens with my daily Parisian dresses. But when you are walking back and forth from the Left to Right Bank, you’re feet will be killing you, so just do it.
2. Visit the Jewish Quarters for the best food and shopping in all of Paris.
3. Go to where the filmed Midnight in Paris. It will make you feel happy and proud to be an America
4. Visit the Eiffel Tower, because it will make you feel like you are a little girl again, and that is truly a wonderful feeling.
5. Do drink lots of White Wine, it is excellent.
6. Do eat lots of bread, they don’t make it this good in America.
7. Do visit the Notre Dame, it is breathtakingly beautiful and if you are religious that’s even better.
8. Go to the Pierre La Chaise, I spent an hour looking for Jim Morrison, and when I found him no one else was around and it was great. We had like a thirty minute conversation about the album LA Women. He’s fantastic and very handsome now that he lost some weight.
9. Do wear neutral, preferable dark colors and walk around with a cigarette and do kiss your friends and families on both cheeks (left then right).
10. Do visit the place where Marie Antoinette was beheaded, and visit her home Versailles even though it is an hour out of the city.

Don’t:

1. Don’t go to the Champ Elly’se, it’s the equivalence of 5th Avenue, Rodeo Drive, and Worth Avenue. You can get anything you want at those stores in America. Plus it is crowded with tourists and pickpockets and gypsies. It’s not worth it.
2. Don’t say “Oy” obnoxiously and out loud – people will automatically know you are an American.
3. Don’t let people know your American. I hate to say it since I have family in Paris, but the waiters are rude to Americans.
4. Don’t tip cab drivers or waiters. My aunt who was born in raised in Paris let us know that tipping is NOT a thing in Paris.
5. The Arc de Triump is the exact same Arc that we have in Washington Square Park, it’s just much bigger. Not the most important thing to see.
6. Do not attempt to go to The Lourve unless your vacation is three months long. Really. It takes three months to see the entire museum.
7. Don’t buy Macaroons and expect it to be the yummy coconut desert that we eat for Passover.
8. Don’t go to a grocery store, it will freak you out.
9. Don’t expect an iced coffee to exist in Paris. It doesn’t. They look at you very confused, even when my mom ordered it in French, they were not happy.
10. Don’t listen to my advice, go to Paris and do whatever the hell you want.

Image via Casey Leigh Stanton Photography