I don’t know about you, but to me the point of a vacation is to relax. Maybe this is because I live in one of the top 4 most stressful cities in the US, but when I get away I like to sit on a beach, drink my face off, have sex as much as possible, and get a good night’s sleep. I found this list of the top 4 stressful cities, and having visited each of them I can say that I wholeheartedly agree. Here is why:
1. Los Angeles: Stressful because you have to constantly worry if you have texted the right people to get into a club, whether the car bumper you are peeing on belongs to a celebrity, how many hours you are going to be stuck on an interstate in dead-lock traffic before you get clipped by the paparazzi, and whether or not the coffee you are drinking is a vegan soy machiatto latte made with skim almond milk. Everyone is searching for fame.
2. New York: Stressful because you are constantly surrounded by loud, foul-mouthed media whores who think their $40,000 per year job justifies walking 30 mph through Times Square knocking over blind people tourists in a rush to get back from their two hour booze drenched lunch break in time to leave for happy hour. Everyone is searching for success.
3. Chicago: Stressful because it has the reputation of being the only city within about 30 states around it that is worth living in. Try living up to that standard. Oh yes, and a lot of the women are money-grubbing husband hunters that are trying to sleep their way to a condo in the city and a spouse who always has to work late. Everyone is searching for money.
4. Washington, DC: Stressful because it is the center of politics in the United States. If you haven’t yet been invited to an event at the White House, if you aren’t raising money, lobbying for a cause, giving to charity, or rubbing elbows with politicians you might as well shack up with Al Qaeda. Everyone is searching for connections.
It is no surprise that the largest cities are the most stressful, because those places are where the most ambitious people go. As sad as it is, and even though I sometimes develop strange stress-related patches of dry skin I wouldn’t have it any other way. I always say my favorite thing about living in New York is going on vacation – so if you are looking to replenish yourself, I suggest heading to the nearest coastline and plopping your sweet as down in the sand.
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