Drink like a fish that has a problem metabolizing alcohol. Have sex with many people, so when you find the one you know how to keep them. Don’t believe in the one until the day you find them. If something scares you, let that be the only reason you need to do it. If you want illegal drugs, take them. If you need illegal drugs, don’t. Don’t wait to get to know your parents as adults, even if you hate them. Take naps. Try Anal. Floss. And remember that there is no such thing as trying. And then drink.