Nine of the world’s most famous male superheroes get prettified.
I have never really found superheroes to be that hyper masculine. Honestly, dudes running around saving helpless women while wearing tights and masks always seemed a little gay to me. My childhood heroes were the hot men of the International Male catalogue, because it takes real balls to maintain your dignity while wearing a fishnet shirt and vinyl thong. To drive this point home, here are a few open letters to the superheroes of the world:
Dear Thor,
Allowing Chris Hemsworth to ransack Portia De Rossi’s wig closet and borrow Tim Allen’s hammer does not a superhero make.
Dear Superman,
If I wanted to sleep with a guy that wears a spandex bodysuit under his clothes at all times and hangs out in phone booths I would seek out a Japanese businessman.
Dear Spiderman,
Taking off your glasses, covering up your face, and shooting goo out of your fingers doesn’t make you any less of a nerd. In fact, you just sound like someone who trolls internet chat rooms trying to land an online girlfriend.
That being said, someone went the extra mile and Hello-Kittied the shit out of these male superheroes, and the result is so fabulous that I would be remiss if I didn’t share it.
God bless Photoshop for giving little gay boys everywhere something to aspire to.
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