ASOS Says ‘Free Your Tushie’ With New Pants Offering

Written by Bryce

Free your tushie, fashion lover.

In the event your tushie has been living a caged life, there’s good news. ASOS, the relatively-fine fashion retailer responsible for clip-on man buns and a variety of questionable fashion moments, has debuted a pair of assless pants that’ll help you show off your fresh butt tuck surgery results.

Are we kidding about freeing your tushie by way of a major online retailer? Not in the slightest. Just look at these tushie-baring pantaloons and get excited for what the future of humanity holds:

So much tushie.

If you’re the type to hop on top of every bottom-baring trend, that’s nice for you, and you’ll happily plunk down the required $72 to make this dream your very own tush’s reality.

The ASOS website describes these embellished “pants” as inclusive of:

  • MId rise
  • Functional pockets
  • Raw-cut edges
  • For an unfinished finish
  • Studded embellishment
  • More is definitely more
  • Regular fit – true to size
  • Exclusive to ASOS

More is also more for your front side as well, because just look at this:

So. Much. More.


These are modern times though, friends, and 2018 just may be the year of the tushie. We’re not sure, but we will obviously consult an astrology expert to see which sign these may best fit. In the meantime we’re assuming scorpio people of all genders will be snapping these up for regular use.

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About the author


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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