Competition is pretty stiff when you live in a city populated by more than 1.6 million people. You gotta do whatever it takes to stand out on aÂ dateÂ or you’ll be flying solo. I always liked the idea of hookingÂ aÂ mateÂ by going on a few innocent dates, eventuallyÂ followed by a no-pants party in which the guy discovers during the removal of my garments that HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE’S GOT HIMSELF INTO.
As luck would have it, I found Ginch GonchÂ underwear before obtaining a “Your Face Here” tattoo on my leftÂ ass cheek. Ginch Gonch specializes in bringing sexy back viaÂ ’80s designer underwear. They’ve recently expanded the line to include women’s briefs, and from personal experience, it’s an investment you won’t regret. Besides allowing your naughty bits to breathe, these bad boys can sustain any kind of calamity your nether regions may face (or, at the very least, they’ll survive the washing machine). The throwback patterns also make for a great icebreaker (if you should need to break the ice while getting undressed).
GG pops out new designs quarterly, all withÂ the distinct flavor of the ’80s.Â The underwear mavericks wereÂ inspired by the overtly sexualÂ tighty-whities popularized by Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger back in the day, except they took the banana hammock style and cut of the ’80s and splicedÂ it withÂ the patterns you wore as an ’80s child (trains, planes, and automobiles, anyone?)Â I have to admit, those old school CK ads AREÂ slightly inspiring.
Hot, but boring. Traditional. Seen it a million times. I’d prefer to see something unexpected under a man’sÂ jeans that doesn’t send meÂ running in the other directionÂ or to the gyno. And nothing screams “hot to trot” like multicolored argyle nuthuggers in my book. Boxers are cool for rappers or when you’re in the fifth grade, but I like myÂ gifts to comeÂ packaged up nice-n-snug in colorful wrapping. Any man with the balls to “cover their inches in Ginches” is more than enough man for me.
Already have a partner? Buy in bulk. TheseÂ killer knickers are sure to lock down that quirkyÂ threesome you’ve been trying to negotiate.