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Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (rainy day edition)

Written by Bryce

White trash photo shoots, marriage, and wigs.

Only the gentle are ever really strong. -James Dean

1. I’m Excited! I’ve been mapping out my Fall 2011 calendar and have trips planned to Chicago, Miami, Los Angeles, Toronto, and Washington DC. Americans, hold steady, I’m coming (most likely with a gaggle of gay men, a bucket of lip gloss, and a boom box blasting Britney Spears). Oh, and Canadians, too.

2. Speaking of Britney… Is anyone out there a professional chart maker? I’d like to chart the positive correlation between Britney Spears’ craziness and the quality of her music. I mean, I think it’ll be an easy chart… just two upward pointing arrows or something.

3. White Trash, You Say? Yup, that’s right. Now that we’re on the subject of Britney I feel it is only appropriate to divulge what I did on Saturday. I had a white trash-themed photo shoot on Gary’s rooftop. Why? Because I need a new holiday card… duh. You’ll be pleased to know I was decked out in red lipstick, an animal print snuggie (cinched at the waist, of course), a beer can in my hair, a wife beater on my baby, and my gays wore their finest wigs. Just another casual weekend 🙂

4. Last Night. Every now and then when I don’t have a nanny, babysitter, or baby daddy around I give myself a much-needed night of nothingness. Typically I go out after Ben goes to sleep- whether to dinner, a party, a friend’s house or just about anywhere else, and after a while that gets to be pretty exhausting. Last night I treated myself to a much-needed face mask, a few cups of herbal tea, some candles, and the sound of cold rain hitting my 33rd floor windows at an alarming rate. After about 4 minutes of that I was totally bored and turned the TV on to find The Marriage Ref. You know what? I love that show. I watched the entire episode till my face mask was a crumbly, disgusting mess and my tea had gone lukewarm.

Then I realized: Whoa, I’m a loser. I’m not even remotely in a relationship and the best thing I could find to watch on TV was a show about other people’s relationships.

Note to self: get in a relationship before watching any future episodes of The Marriage Ref or just watch Food Network in pursuit of weight gain and taste bud porn.

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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