Dear Kyle, You’re Univited.

Written by Bryce

Dear Kyle in 4D,

We thought it would be nice to extend an invitation to you to the building holiday party.  When you arrived, you looked like your normal schlubbish self.  As the evening proceeded, it seemed that the egg nog and Hanukkah Manischevitz were disappearing all-too-rapidly.  But we weren’t really worried till you got excited by Mrs. Miller’s baby Jesus cookie platters.

When you removed the colored plastic wrap and started to undress, all the residents here felt uneasy.  I have attached a photo of the experience (in case you don’t remember), and I kindly ask you to not come to next year’s holiday party.

Warm holiday wishes,

Bryce Gruber

Picture 11

About the author


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber


  • Dear Kyle,
    I heard you were uninvited to your buildings holiday party. I am deeply disturbed. Your antics were the life of the party and I officially invite you to my holiday party. No need to bring anything, I will provide the plastic wrap.

    Sending warm wishes and admiration,

  • “wrap that rascal” and don’t stop until the nose and mouth are firmly covered. LOL But you have to admit the guy’s got …
    how do you spell hutzpah?

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