In my dream world, Emma Stone and I have a standing brunch date every Wednesday (we’re way too cool for Sundays) and Melanie Laurent is my personal French tutor. I Facetime with Diane Keaton on the regs, and Beyonce is my BBG4L. In this world, where parking tickets are gold and I never have to wait in line for the bathroom at Starbucks, my girl crushes are fully realized relationships. We buy a bottle of cheap vodka because its funny and reminds us of high school. We dance to Robyn whenever possible. We talk about our recent bowel movements, nail art projects, and how great Katharine Hepburn’s cheekbones are.
But it’s all a dream. In reality, my girl crushes have to play out like everyone else’s. Through Internet memes. I’m not the only one who imagines what it’d be like to have a BFF in high places. Here’s Texts from Hilary. It’s going to steal at least 10 minutes of your time today, and you’re gonna love it.
Can we agree on how badass it is that our Secretary of State has inspired a digital mashup of nearly every major cultural figure from the past six months? Featuring everyone from change-the-world-one-profile-at-a-time Zuckerberg, to the King of Memes, Ryan Gosling, the tumblr is a tribute to the coolness of Clinton. Sunglasses-on-a-C17-jet kind of cool. You know you’d be blowin’ up that number if you could. Twenty-four/seven consult on everything from boys to bipartisan reproductive policy? Plz, yes! She may be secreterying the -ish out of this state (and possibly planning a 2016 presidential run), but you just know this lady would be down for some late night Mad Men recapping and venting about bosses. In her case, that just happens to be the President of the United States. Whatevs.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH, HILS. <3 XOXOXOXOXO!!!!!