Forever21 is selling a fur bikini and nobody seems to understand why.
We’ve dug up a lot of questionable fashion items for sale on the internet over the last few weeks, and we want to let you know that our journalistic pursuits stretch far beyond detachable booty pants and the famous clear plastic pants that nearly broke the internet — we’re here for all the totally weird fashion and we’re bringing receipts. That said, hello, OMG, Forever21 is selling fur bikini tops and we cannot even figure out why.
We know what you’re thinking. “Oh, this is so Russia-chic, Putin may be ordering a bunch of them right now for his office meetings.” You’re sort of right, fur-anything, especially something as skimpy as a fur bikini, has Russia written all over it, but faux fur? No. No self-respecting Russian would don faux fur even if cash was tight. That’s sociology.
Now here’s where Forever21 takes it a step beyond what you’d think might already be the pinnacle of WTF boob encasements, and offers a slightly more expensive fur bikini top option, a faux pearl-enhanced version retailing for $21.90, because you’re worth it.
Pearls can enhance the fur bikini top of your dreams if you’re willing to shell out an extra $6.
Honestly we can’t take the credit for finding what the Forever21 website describes as a “faux fur triangle bra featuring faux pearl trim and dual lobster clasp closures,” that is also “one size fits most.” We have to thank our friend Kristen Buttolph, a beauty PR manager for one of the world’s most famous haircare brands, as she’s actually the gem responsible for unearthing this PETA-approved attire.
We asked if she bought the fur bikini top and had any plans to wear it.
“I’d only wear this if I was in a Murder Inc. music video,” she shared. “And if the bikini was gifted to me. At least Forever21.com is on-trend with the millennial pink color.” Well said, Kristen. We agree.
It seems other stylish people feel similarly, because when we polled some of our readers about their willingness to sample the fur bikini lifestyle, we got the following responses back:
“No, because I’m not Wilma Flintstone.” – Rachel Steinmetz
“I’d probably pass on the opportunity to wear a furry bra or swimsuit but someone else who is into sexy Chewbacca cosplay may give it a whirl! My reason for not wearing a fur bikini is because I live in Georgia and it is already hot without the added fur to contribute to extra boob sweat.” – Kristen Dietert
“I had no idea they existed, but now I do if I want to play cavewoman.” – Jessa Moore
“What? No. I assumed these were just created for Playboy and Sports Illustrated shoots out of carpet remnants and then immediately discarded.” – Kate Winick
Now we need to know, would YOU wear a fur bikini top? If so, how would you style it?
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