How To Rape It Into Show Business

Dear Daryl,

I get that it’s hard to make it into show business, but really? Gotta throw rape all up in there? “Do you have leading man experience?” “No, but I can pretend to rape you with the best of them!” Just no Daryl. Not only does your penmanship remind me of a 6 year old, but the fact that you think posting that you “just finished playing a rapist in a film” also makes me believe you think that it’s okay and possible would play a pedophile. The words “Earnest” and “Rapist” don’t reallllllly mesh. Punctual? Non-creeper? Seriously, I’m not creepy? THESE are the types of words you should be using. I hope this helps you in your acting endeavors and please, skip with the rapey-ness unless you want to end up a sincerely hated walk-on-role on Law and Order: SVU.