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Jewish Boys: The New Black

15 years ago
38 Comments
by Bryce
Written by Bryce

It’s come to my attention that it’s now considered “cool” to date Jewish boys.  Although I’ve had limited relationships, they’ve mostly been with Jewish boys (or old men), and I’ve got them as brothers, and one as a kid.  I can vouch for them.

So, I present to you my good friend Steve.  Steve and I have known each other about 10 years… and he’s always been the more reasonable half of our friendship.  In high school, I’d be scheming and up to mischief as usual and Steve would politely say “Bryce, I don’t want to be involved in whatever you’re doing.”  Although he’s a bit older than me, his mother enlisted my help to teach Steve how to iron, cook, and clean before heading off to college.  I can vouch for the fact that Steve knows how to do all these things, and dating him wouldn’t be like babysitting.

That being said, it’s time that Steve finds a nice lady to get cozy with.  His past endeavors have only turned up rancid women, crazy whores, and people that anyone with good taste wouldn’t like.  I tried to fix him up with a good friend of mine not too long ago, but she apparently isn’t into “nice guys” …WTF?!

Steve scares my baby, but won't scare you.

Steve scares my baby, but won't scare you.

So here are some fun facts about Steve:

  • 5’10”
  • Green eyes and light brown hair
  • Don’t let his thin physique fool you, the guy can eat a bucket of lard in a sitting
  • He’s a music whore (at shows and concerts all the time, and he’s in the biz on a professional level)
  • His mom and sister are lovely, and they cook!
  • His other best friend (other than me) is a small Japanese girl that should be the basis of several scientific studies.  She’s part of the package, and you’ll enjoy her.
  • He’s probably the most sincere person I know.

steve1

So, that being said, if you’d like to date Steve… Leave a comment here with your first name, age, and a little about yourself.   He’s a catch, and I know one of you girls must be perfect for him!

If it works out… your baby together could look like this:

steve2

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About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, being fully rested and writing for some of the world's most popular news outlets.

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38 Comments

  • Dating Jews is totally the new black. Of course, I hopped on the Jew-dating bandwagon long before it was hip. Just sayin.

  • I’ve never dated a Jew. But if I didn’t heart Steve like a bro-ham, he’d be my first choice fo sho.

  • hilarious. you rock! i am too old for him….but if you want to put an ad up for me, be my guest.
    i have tried match.com, eharmony, POF, and jdate. my NEW LINE IS INSTEAD OF JDate, id love ADATE
    by the way, i went with my sis to mommy and me at donna klein yesterday LOL : D

  • Jewish guys are the best but I had the hardest time dating them, as I am half Jewish and Irish(like Ben Stiller). My mother converted to Judaism (Conservative) before I was born and after my parents divorce converted back to Christianity and then put us in Catholic School. Talk about confusing,anyway I never stopped lusting after the guys from the local JCC and camp.

  • Erin, that’s the most fabulous story I’ve ever heard. Did you know our own Matt is a half jew/half leprechaun-lover too?!

  • It’s like being bisexual where you’re not accepted by the gay or straight community. Green Matzoh balls for all!

  • The religion of the guy I’m dating really doesn’t make a difference to me. I’d like to date someone because they are intelligent and interesting to talk to. Jewish or not Jewish, as long as you’re fun to hang out with, I’m down.

  • Steve is a cutie….All these nice things written about him but NO girl in his life…..what’s the real story?? What’s wrong with him? 🙂

  • This is hysterical! Andrea are you reading this?!
    What can I say but that I’m a 30 year old Jewish girl who hardly dates within the tribe.
    That being said, I’m enticed. The “music whore” comment is what grabbed me! Love of music is an absolute must on my list (and green eyes happen to be a weakness of mine). I should also note that I can be highly sarcastic tend but am always kind.
    So Steve, what ya gotta say about all this?

  • Can’t help but wonder what the major ‘flaw’ may be….Ive been set up with AMAZING Jewish guys that are a Mom’s / Grandmother’s dream come true, but there always seems to be some issue that makes its way to the surface when dating that makes you want to turn around and run as fast as possible the other way! So, with that being said….Steve, care to enlighten/warn all us inquiring ladies out there what your ‘flaws’ may be?!? Now remember, not all flaws are bad, as there is someone out there that will love you for you and not see your ‘flaws’ as flaws! 🙂

  • yes Jews are the new black for dating, but their moms don’t really like it for marriage purposes… 🙁

  • Steve! There must be SOMETHING wrong with you — it seems too good to be true! I’m Aly, a 20-something music rep and I live in Chelsea. I live alone and I’m the single mother to a long-haired dachshund (you know, the weird looking hot dog dogs) named Baxter (I hope you like/love dogs). I represent bands and composers, mostly indie rock bands in NYC, but also a few Broadway composers. I LOVE my job. How many people can say what they do “for fun” and what they do for work are one in the same? I’m definitely blessed in that department. I grew up listening to all kinds music, my dad is/was a composer/infamous trumpet player and didn’t want me to discriminate. I’m a Philly born and bred, New Yorker since 2006, good food (and good bad-for-you) food loving, girlie drinks hating, “real” coffee appreciating (think The Roasting Plant or Porto Rico Coffee Co.), fun, trashy-TV loving, sometimes (and by sometimes I mean a lot of the times) crude and/or crass Jewish girl. Would love to hear from you! 🙂

  • Pick me! I’m the best! I’m 28 with ridiculous eyes and I make people feel awesome about themselves! Music is my delight and I also like animals, secret beauty, playtime, Polaroids, dirty, mystery and coincidence.

  • I’m intrigued/fascinated after reading this and can’t help but respond. My name is Neta, 27 years old, and about to hit my year anniversary in nyc. My background being Israeli/Russian allows me to meet many Jewish people and make amazing friends, however, meeting a great guy is hard to come by, Jewish or non-Jewish. But…Steve, if you’re reading this…show me what you can offer as I always like a good surprise 😉

  • How about me? I am sorta nice, though a bit rough around the edges. I can make macaroni and cheese, and enjoy swiffering.

  • This is hilarious! And if you hadn’t followed me on Twitter, I would never now about this hooking up Steve business.

    I’m Amy and I’m 29, which makes me almost 30, which means I need a hook-up BADLY. I’m nicer than Gina (Just kidding, I don’t even know her). I don’t enjoy cooking at all, but I did make eggs the other morning. Umm…let’s see…what else is pertinent? Right now I’m listening to the “Glee” soundtrack and before that I played Super Mario Bros on Wii with my roomie. I have two small dogs that like to bark at blowing leaves and other monstrous threats. I’m a writer by trade, photographer by hobby, and I like to make crafty artsy stuff. I’m sure there are many other things I could share, but then we wouldn’t have anything to talk about in the second blog comment, would we?

  • Liz, 21, into older Jewish boys (preferably thin and tall). This seems really creepy but I’m trusting you, Bryce! I’m from Philadelphia and prefer hanging at home with friends over the club and/or loud bar scene. Graduating school in a few months but I promise I’m more mature than my juvenile contemporaries. Either way, hope Steve finds a pretty Jewish girl out there!