Reminder: Sometimes Bling Looks Better Outside Your Mouth

Written by Karina

Call me old-fashioned, but I think jewels should be left to adorn the more conventional parts of our bodies.

Glamour’s most recent girl crush, Lana Del Rey, has been turning heads with her full pout and coy smile for the last six months and will soon be seen on the cover of British Vogue. More recently, she caught attention for stepping out with a different kind of star-appeal. The singer and subject of mega-Internet haters was photographed with a crystal crown capping her canine tooth, adding fuel to the circle of critics who think her look is nothing more than an industry’s manufacturing.

Besides the obvious health concerns, I have a few problems with this trend. Do teeth need accessories? Isn’t some whitening bleach enough? I thought this year was all about dialed-down glamour???

Before her silver bling, Lana was rocking a gold tooth a la all the gangsters she cites as style and musical inspirations. Who else does she count as an influence, besides Flava Flav? Nancy Sinatra. And there you go. A diamond grill on pretty-white-girl-star is born.

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Another star who has attracted haters for dressing way more G than her music calls for? Ke$ha. Only on her, the gold tooth gives less Flava-Flav effect and more used-car-salesman in the Jersey suburbs type of vibes. Still, I can’t quite get the appeal. Is it supposed to make me surprised at how much of a badass Ke$ha is? Honestly, I’d be happy if she used all her gold-teeth money toward some voice lessons.

I’m not going to hate on Lana Del Rey’s look for being inauthentic, or a product of her management’s design. In fact, I think the way she combines a nostalgic lo-fi sound with the classic glamour of a bygone era is totally appealing. But, seriously Lana. You’re a white chick singing pop songs. Even actual rappers have a hard time making those gaudy grills look good. Most of the time, they just look like a serious pain for getting through an airport security line.

Call me old-fashioned, but I think jewels should be left to adorn the more conventional parts of our bodies: necks, ears, wrists. Maybe sometimes bellies, lips, or noses. Never toes or ankles. And  I don’t care how extravagant you want to get. Go ahead and layer that gold like a pre-Revolution French Queen. Divas are meant to shine. Whitney Houston never needed a sparkly tooth to rock a dazzling smile.

What do you think of this trend? Would you ever sport a gold tooth on any occasion other than Halloween?

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About the author


a coastal-hopping country-come-cosmo girl who can be found getting her feet dirty all around Brooklyn and writing all over the Internet. She is the probably lovechild of Jay-Z and Dolly Parton. Follow her on Twitter @karinabthatsme

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