Sidebar: The embedded image is a set of Amish mug-shots. I believe it speaks for itself. End Sidebar.
If you have ever visited Pennsylvania, you probably encountered some Amish. You may have just discounted them as ghosts from the Oregon Trail, or hallucinations left over from your most recent girls night out, but I assure you that the Amish do exist. They are a very distinctive people, shunning the use of modern technology and driving around in horse-drawn buggies. To better acquaint you with them, I have compiled a list of six of their strange customs. Now when you are driving through Amish country and see a hot guy plowing a farm using nothing but his back muscles, you will have something to talk about.
Bundling- Bundling is a strange courtship ritual where two sexy young adults are bundled in separate blankets, but put in the same bed. This practice is supposed to be non-sexual, but where there’s a dick, there’s a way.
Clothing- Belts, gloves, ties, and sneakers are banned from the Amish community. Kiss your sweet kicks goodbye.
Ordnung- An ordnung is a set of rules each Amish community sets for themselves. These rules are typically taken directly from the bible. Basically this means my gay ass will not be visiting the Amish any time soon, lest I get stoned, in a very terrible way.
Violence- In Amish communities, men don’t cut their beards and women don’t cut their hair. This means if you really feel like shanking a bitch, all you have to do is sneak into their house at night and hack away at their hair.
Inbreeding- Since the Amish live in small communities and descend from the families of 200 founders, inbreeding has caused a high instance of genetic disorders such as “male syrup urine disease”.
Rumspringa- Rumspringa is the “get out of jail free card” for Amish youth. When their teenage years are over, they get to choose whether they want to stay in the community or join the outside world. Strangely enough, most Amish youth decide to stay with their community, rather than brave the shitstorm that sex, alcohol, and twitter brings.
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