FASHION Lingerie

This pair of tights make me feel weird

Do you really want your sacrum hanging out for the world to see?

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Do you love ModCloth as much as I do? Of course you do. Ever since my days of frequenting (which I’ve since retired from, FYI), the site has provided some of the most enjoyable clicks I’ve ever experienced from those pesky sidebar ads. Besides their eclectic (and often totally vegan) clothes and quirky housewares, how about those puns? Come on, a leather jacket called ¬†“Whatever You Bike”? I’ll take ten.

But during one of my routine checks of the site’s new arrivals page, I happened on this curious item for sale: the “No Bones About It” tights. Points for the pun, but the tights…not so much.

The printed pair of skivvy coverings come from London co. House of Holland, who apparently are famous for their crafty and irreverent hosiery in Old Blighty. The whole bones thing is cool and edgy, and they’re not as tacky as that one awful Halloween costume that still haunts me in my sleep. But whatever’s happening in the pelvic hip area makes me think of biology class and awkward sex ed teachers. ¬†Creepy and totally unnecessary. Does anyone really want to see all that sacrum and ischiums prancing around? And how low does it go?

Maybe I need to indulge the inner Goth I’ve managed to suppress since my 8th grade when I was just a toe-eyed kid too scared to enter Hot Topic. Or maybe I’ll just stick with these starburst-arse tights from the cheeky clothier.

About the author


a coastal-hopping country-come-cosmo girl who can be found getting her feet dirty all around Brooklyn and writing all over the Internet. She is the probably lovechild of Jay-Z and Dolly Parton. Follow her on Twitter @karinabthatsme

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