Shower sex, sigh. I have a good friend who I’ll call “Victoria.” Victoria is always talking about how great she thinks sex in the shower is, and frankly, I couldn’t disagree more (I publish this at the risk of a lot of public outrage). Sure, do it on a countertop, an airplane, a lounge chair, in a spa… whatever. The shower is where I draw the line though, and here are a few good reasons why:
1. Soap inside weird places is actually known to cause infections, irritation, and real pain. Maybe the sex will be good in the moment, but a few hours later when your vagina is burning you’ll think better of doing it again.
2. Slip and falls are not fun. And if you slip and fall whilst doing it on your own property with your own lover, there’s no one to sue. And bruises aren’t cute.
3. Curly hair, don’t care. I mean, I can’t speak for any of you girls with straight, silky locks… but for those of us with waves and beyond, we have to be especially careful with the way and means of our hair getting wet. And let’s be honest, who wants to have sex with a girl in a shower cap?
4. Timing. Showers (for me anyway) are often rushed pursuits of cleanliness that happen at like 7 AM, pre-breakfast. In other words, I hardly have energy to soap myself, nevermind pleasuring a whole different human.
5. Availability of options. There are simply more options on dry land. Top, bottom, sideways, upside down, etc… they’re all on the table (err, mattress?) as options.
A special thank you to Durex for inspiring this post. Remember, use protection, or you’ll end up huge and pregnant like me and unable to fit in the shower with another person, anyway.
