SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS Sex Life

You Need to Try Mexican Penis if You Haven’t Already

mario lopez
Written by Gary

Mexican penis is even better than tacos.

mario lopez

As a gay man, I would like to proudly state that I have tried (or plan to try) pretty much every color, ethnicity, and nationality of penis on the global menu of penisry. And yes, I am aware that penisry probably isn’t a word, but I mentioned that I am gay, and making up words is one of our favorite pastimes (ex: hunty, yass, fierce), second only to exaggerating about the amount of penises we have seen.

So today we are going to talk about Mexican penis, because even though Donald Trump doesn’t seem to think Mexicans are worthy of being in this country, their dicks most definitely beg to differ, at least according to my extensive research. That being said, I also like Indian penis of all religious backgrounds and styles.

According to The Internet, in a survey of 116 countries, Mexico came in at 47 on the dickter scale, with an average penis size of 5.945 inches. My own personal forays into Mexico (and Mexico’s own personal forays into me, if you get my drift) find that this number is a bit conservative. Most of the Mexican dicks I have seen or heard about have actually been pretty big. So take that, or leave it, but I definitely suggest you take it, because God bless Mexican penis.

READ MORE: 12 Reasons Why Indian Penis is the Best

Health statistics from a CDC study found that Latino men are more likely to use condoms, so if you are allergic to kids, a romp in the sack with a Mexican penis is less likely to leave you with an unexpected and irreversible case of children.

Also, most Mexican men are uncircumcised, so if you like guys the way god or nature made them, a Mexican penis will not disappoint.

In the romance department, Mexican dicks are generally attached to Mexican men, who speak Spanish, which is a very romantic language. Mexican men are also generally speaking, very respectful of their family members and often take care of their elderly, so hitching yourself to a Mexican penis will bode well for your elderly parents and grandparents.

mexican penis

I know we have all heard the rumor that Latino men are more likely to cheat than their Caucasian counterparts (thanks for perpetuating a stereotype, AshleyMadison.com). I can’t rightly say whether this is true of Mexicans, since I have never dated one for an extended period of time. I can confirm however, that Catholicism is the main religion in Mexico, and Catholics tend to feel an extreme amount of guilt whenever they do anything wrong. So if you are the type of girl who likes a lot of gifts, or just wants an easy exit strategy out of a relationship, this rumor should in no way impede your goal to pursue a Mexican dick.

All in all, I would say the best reason to try a Mexican dick is the same reason you should try any dick. Variety is the spice of life. So if you have gone this long without sampling any penis from our southern neighbors, I suggest you book a trip to Puerto Vallarta immediately. Go for the food, and stay for the dick.

Just hurry up before the wall is built and our supply of fabulous Mexican penis options is done away with.

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About the author

Gary

Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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