These panties give the phrase “Doing it doggie style” a whole new meaning. I propose to you, dear readers, a test. Buy a pair of these puppy panties and wear them to bed with your boyfriend. Commence some seductive moves.
If he is really into it, dump him.
Here is why:
Our vaginas can be compared to a lot of things: black holes, bear traps, roast beef sandies with hollandaise sauce, and of course flowers (Although I have no idea what Georgia O’ Keefe was smoking). A vagina should never be compared a dogs mouth, because dogs eat poo.
Bestiality is illegal. If your guy looks down at your basement area and sees a grinning dog staring up at him but still gets a raging hard-on, it might be time to address some of his childhood issues. Did you ever wonder why he doesn’t care if you shave your legs and likes you to wear a collar to bed?
These panties don’t even really make any logical sense, as a cat would have been more appropriate. I understand relating vaginas to cats because they are both condescending, hairy, and spray you when they are angry. Unlike dogs, vaginas don’t fetch your slippers or get really scared when you have to walk over grates (although they have been known to tip over the trash can and forage for morsels when left alone for long periods of time).
The moral of the story is, I am all for some kink. If your man, however, gets off by pounding the face of one of god’s most innocent creatures it might be time to ditch the bitch.
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