Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (anniversary edition)

I wanted to talk to the animals like Dr. Doolittle. -Jane Goodall.

1. I Have A Daddy Complex? At some point last week I was cuddling on the couch with my boyfriend and got to talking about our relationship. He mentioned that he thinks I might have a wee bit of a daddy complex. He’s 40, I’m 27. My son’s dad is 26 years my senior. The boyfriend before current boyfriend is now 42 or 43 (hard to remember). He wasn’t really critical of it, as he expressed that he feels like the “complex” worked in his favor, but he made it pretty clear that he thinks it’s something I should dissect within myself. I expressed that I don’t think I have a daddy complex- I just have no patience for the crap young dudes dish out. I don’t want to watch cartoons or play video games with anyone but my son. That’s enough.

2. Anniversary Time! Yesterday was our 6 month anniversary. At around 3 PM my doorbell rang and I was greeted by a short, thick-accented man holding a large shopping bag. He presented me with the card you see above, first. Then the little guy handed me a beautifully arranged vase of red roses… fragrant and delicious. I stopped. I admired. I smiled at the fact that he remembered our special day- and then it hit me. The card was signed “Dad.” Dad? Was he kidding? Was it a joke? Was he being a mean weirdo?

3. A Few Minutes Later. I piled Ben into his stroller with the intention of handing him off for a brief visit with his dad and contemplated the meaning of this card. I remembered the time just a few days before when we were cuddling in bed and he said something like, “I’m the funniest guy you’ve ever been with… right?”

I responded, “not really… but you’re really tall and handsome.”

Was this his way of stepping his humor game up? I called him to find out.

“Hey Daniel, the flowers are beautiful… thank you! I love them… and you! Was the card a joke? Or perhaps a dictation error?”

“Huh? I told them to write ‘Happy 6 months. Love you, Dan.’”

“Oh. I mean, it says Dad.”

Awkward silence.