Lesbians. Frankly I don’t get what the big deal is all about. I know straight guys like to watch them and I know that straight girls don’t mind pretending to be them, but they really don’t do anything for me. I do have one lesbian friend however, and I have learned a little bit about relationships from her. Everyone always makes fun of lesbians for driving U-Hauls to their first dates and causing big emotional scenes in public that involve them telling their girlfriends: “I love you, bro. I fucking love you so much my heart feels like its on fire and my vagina explodes with angst every time we fight. So let’s never fight again until tomorrow. In public.”
But I do think that there is something to be learned from lesbians, because if it is one thing we can say for them they aren’t afraid of relationships like the rest of us, even if said relationship is with their best friend’s ex-girlfriend. So here are three ways to incorporate the best that lesbianism has to offer into your relationship:
1. Don’t be afraid to show your feelings. Even if your feelings involve how much you hate penis. The number one killer to any relationship is passive aggression. If there is one person in the world that you should be able to be 100% vaginas-to-the-wall honest with about your feelings it is your partner. Especially if you plan to build a future with someone (as lesbians always do, even with one night stands).
2. Don’t be afraid of commitment. Even if your relationship doesn’t end up working out because your bitchy ex GF friend-requests your new piece, you should go into every relationship optimistically and dive in head first. You know exactly what will happen if you don’t give something 100%; you will end up alone. You have no idea what will happen if you really give something your all.
3. Don’t be afraid of what the world thinks of you. If it is one thing (and one thing only) that I admire lesbians for, it is that they don’t take any shit from anyone. To be honest, they frighten me. I think a lot of us cast perfectly awesome people aside because of what our friends will say, or don’t give others a chance because they aren’t the right family background, religion, or social status. Love is simply the most important element to any of our lives, and we should embrace it in any capacity no matter what our friends, families, or societies think.
So there you have it. I had to reach deep inside myself to find positive things to say about lesbians (gay guys and lesbians have a rivalry that predates the Israeli-Palestinian conflict) but I do think that when it comes to relationships, the fearlessness of lesbians is something to be admired. So stop being afraid, start throwing yourself into uncomfortable situations, and fall in love as much as possible.
Editors note: The embedded photo is not indicative or typical of a lesbian relationship. I just didn’t want to scare you away with a photo of two truck drivers named Marge and Biff scissoring on a grassy knoll.
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