I have never lived with anyone that I have dated. Once, for three weeks I stayed with an Air Force guy I was seeing in Biloxi, Mississippi but that didn’t work out because my best friend was also living there and had to flee the city after creating a fake identity and then being found out. But I digress.
I have always thought that my personal space was too important to share with someone. I want my alone time when I want it – when I take a 2 hour bath because I am reading the latest poorly written young adult novel I don’t want anyone asking me if they can come in and take a dump, especially someone I am sleeping with. When I want to spend an entire day laying in bed working or writing I don’t want my lover trying to snug me, or nudging me to go out into the sun for a walk. Lastly, when I decide to spend my night catching up on a weeks worth of shows, eating donuts and salt and vinegar chips I don’t want to see any judging eyes.
Also, if I decide not to shower for a day or two I don’t want to subject anyone to the smell of my balls.
But lately I have been thinking a lot about commitment, as one of my good friends just got engaged. Maybe when you find the right person you actually want them to invade your personal space. Maybe it becomes “our space” instead of “my space”. Maybe the right guy understands how important two hour baths are, and not only encourages you to eat whatever you want when you are watching trashy TV, but does it right alongside you. And maybe going outside during your day off is nice if you are holding someone’s hand.
I don’t know what the right answer is, and I haven’t found the right guy yet. But I do know that the older I get the more open I become to sharing my life with someone. When I was younger I was so sure my entire life would be about me, me, me, because there were too many things I wanted to accomplish and I knew I had to be alone to do that.
Now that I am well on the way to getting what I want out of life, I find that what I want the most is somebody to share it with.
Smelly balls, and all.
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Great post
Awe! Well put.